Where the Cup Runneth Over Since 1854

Take a close look at this photo. See if you can find the following objects: 

1. A small statue of JFK's head. 

2. A "Wanted" poster for Abe Lincoln's assassin. 

3. Bulbous objects resembling tribal masks

4. A skeleton*

5. An orb*

6. A metal tripod that could be something straight out of the Titanic. It's just as old and covered in 3 inches of dust. The small objects dangling from this rod are wishbones. Legend has it several soldiers left these bones here -McSorley's Old Ale House - before leaving for WWII. The remaining wishbones represent those who did not survive the war to retrieve their bone. 

Of the million and one places in Manhattan to lose oneself in sweet toxic juices, I ended up at McSorley's Saturday night - the oldest bar in New York. Apparently they had quite the basement operation going when Prohibition was in full swing. Also, women were not admitted to the bar until 1970 when a Supreme Court ruling upended this restriction. When ordering a drink, one only needs to say "light" (ale) or "dark" (ale). For $4.50 they give you two mugs right off the bat. This joint was packed and bustling on Saturday; definitely the place to be if you're rambling around the East Village some evening looking to quench your thirst. 

*Trick questions. The "skeleton" is actually a window shade and the "orb" is a real light. 

Coffee Bar Hopping

My life is incomplete in one small but important area. 

Sure, I have a great apartment situation in a cute Brooklyn neighborhood. I am gainfully employed. I have a kickass room with shade #9 "Chelsea" walls. What more could one ask for in life, you say? 

Peeps, I am in desperate need of a quality cafe hangout. I'm talking about the kind of place with big comfy chairs where you can just kick back and get lost in a book for an entire day. I've managed to find great places in most of my former cities  - in Syracuse, the Barnes & Noble on Erie Blvd., and during my South Dakota internship, Coffee Smith and Red Rooster. By comparison, the New York B&N's are always filled to the brim with people. I suppose a fear of homeless people camping out in their stores may explain the absence of big comfy chairs and fire places. Alas, the store's cozy "escape" factor has been lost forever on me.

As a whole, the NY coffee scene pales in comparison to my former haunts. Especially when I think of the memories...the memories! My relationship with the Syracuse B&N escalated to the point where I joined a "chair gang" comprised of a 35-year-old nurse, a 70-year-old retired physicist, a 60-year-old bear hunter and myself (we still keep in touch). One scary night in SD leaving the Rooster, I agreed to drive an acquaintance home only to learn that he really just wanted my number...and to tell me that his ex-girlfriend had filed a restraining order against him. But oh Rooster, how could I forget your delectable ice cream drinks, your free coffee, your cheap used books? Sigh. New York, you have a very tall order to fill.

Today I set out once again to find The perfect place. This time I limited my cafe hopping to the Ft Greene area. Several caffeinated beverages later, I am still disappointed (though quite jittery). Here's a short breakdown of the places I've visited and where they rank: 

Best Food: Ortine Cafe

Very tucked-away and out-of-place; you would never know of this cafe's existence unless you actually passed it on the street. Great food, but expensive. It would be hard to spend more than a few hours here since A) I would go broke and B) my back would go broke from their hard restaurant-style tables and chairs. 

Best Coffee: Bittersweet

Great Mocha. Again, very uncomfortable tables and chairs. My neck started hurting after only 30 minutes of trying to read while sitting upright in perfect posture. 

Best Atmosphere: Tillie's of Brooklyn

Fun place; lots of people and live bands on the weekend. There's also walls filled with local art on the upper level. Their chicken sandwich is to die for. But then again, you'll find the same uncomfortable tables and chairs here. Also, it's a popular spot so I find myself constantly distracted by the comings and goings of others. 

Best Sweets: Green Apple Cafe

Tried this place for the first time tonight. Their mocha tasted very bitter; won't try that again. However, they have quite the selection of confectionary goodies (cupcakes, bars, pies, cakes). Sweets tend to have their way with me. 

Now, as soon as I find a coffee joint which embodies all of these traits, I will be one very happy girl. 

To Queens and Back Again: A Hobbit's Tale

Today I made the epic journey from Brooklyn to Queens to pick up a radioactive watermelon bridesmaid dress that I ordered two months ago. The David's Bridal people told me to try on the dress one more time to make sure it fit, so I did. After sliding into it, I could tell something wasn't right - it just didn't feel the same. Walking over to the mirrors, my suspicions were confirmed: I've lost some weight. Now I have exactly four months to start eating truckloads of food so I can fit into this dress. One of the bridal attendants told me that a smaller dress size would be too small, case closed. Ergo, I must wear this dress. I'm thinking a corset might add some girth, but corsets are also inclined to have a "flattening" rather than "fattening" effect. The eating begins...now.

Here's the kicker: my friend is having us wear full-length dresses and petticoats in late July. I have a feeling this has something to do with the conservative nature of her church. However, Wisconsin easily reaches temperatures in the 90's around that time of year. It could end up being the perfect 70-degree summer day, but who can predict Wisco weather in July? Unless my friend's tiny church has Central Air, it's pretty much a given that I'll be leaving the ceremony glistening with perspiration.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you the dress. Make sure you choose the watermelon color swatch.